Saturday, November 7, 2009

If I were a baby again.

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 4; the fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Searching. This word may remind us Google or a job search . But, for Karthik it differs, impacts, deviates and do matters a lot in many ways. In fact , searching is an essential part of his life, though he doesn't know the spelling yet. May be its a compulsive compulsion for him. Anyways, coming to his life, Karthik has got a best friend, and of course, only friend, namely Saketh. Both, Saketh and Karthik stay together, eat together, play together and sleep together, may be, because both live in the same orphanage, in the same room, by the grace of destiny. Karthik enjoys saketh's company a lot. Karthik feels himself in saketh's presence. He feels gifted and he always thanks god for having Saketh in his life.They have similar interests and passions. They both love cricket and grown up idolising Sachin. They encourage each other and love each other a lot. Incidentally, both share their birthdays on the same day, April 24. They cant imagine life without each other. Karthik loves Saketh more than himself. Coming to Saketh, most of the times he remains silent in deep thoughts which makes Karthik to raise the doubt, " What does Saketh think always???". This question keeps on haunting Karthik , and unknowingly , he feels insecure too. Many a times Karthik asked saketh . "What do u always think , Saketh?", but Saketh never answered and instead he still remained silent. Sometimes, Saketh's silence makes Karthik scared, irritated, annoyed and frustrated .

Gradually, Karthik is habituated to saketh's silence . But,Karthik use to convince himself by guessing what Saketh thinks always, by questions like ........  What makes Saketh to go into silent thinking? ....... Does Saketh miss the essence of his mother? .......... Does Saketh think how his mother looks like? .......... Does Saketh try to visualize his mother's looks, smile and attire? ......... Does Saketh miss those warm hugs, lovely kisses, love laps, tender spoon feeds, affectionate looks and caring pats. ? ............ Does Saketh try to imagine how cheerfully his birthday could have been celebrated if his mom is with him? ..... Does Saketh get the doubt whether his mom is alive or not? ....... Does Saketh miss those mischievous and childish acts which can be cherished only by his mom.?........ Does Saketh miss the fun and frolic of being with his mom, always? ......... Does Saketh try to question why his mom left him in a dustbin? .......... Does Saketh think that his mom left him because he is weak and having ugly looks? ......... Does Saketh think, like, "Will my mom ever come back"? .......... Does Saketh feel lonely though he is not alone ? .......... Does Saketh miss his father?.......... Does Saketh miss his brothers and sisters ? ......... Does Saketh miss the golden privilege and exclusiveness of being pampered by his mom? ......... Does Saketh miss those cute, sweet adjectives his mom could have used to describe him? ......... Does Saketh miss the pride feeling of his mom for having him as her son? .......... Does Saketh think whether his mom also feels the same way , somewhere in the world? ............ Does Saketh want to shout and cry for the treatment he gets from the so called civilized society? ............... Does Saketh want freedom from the pain of dejection and isolation? .............. Does Saketh really get these questions? and finally , does Saketh feel that i have too many questions to ask? ..... and so on.

Karthik, though he is much young for his age to analyse other's thoughts, gets these questions almost everyday, whenever he observes saketh's pensive silence. It is not a surprise because whatever the questions he has imagined and asked are actually his questions and his feelings about his mom, and not saketh's. He always lives with that anxiety and enthusiasm whether Saketh too gets such similar thoughts and questions, because Saketh is also an orphan like him .In fact, Karthik expects from saketh to ask him those questions . Karthik wants to share everything about his questions with SakethKarthik is very eager and desperate to get listened by his best friend, Saketh. Karthik feels that they both has got good rapport and understanding. Karthik wants to cry whole heartedly to relieve his emotional pain of missing his mom, by hugging his best friend. Though, they have similar wavelengths, frequencies, backgrounds and being best friends, Karthik feels helpless and frustrated, because he knows very well that though Saketh can listen , he wont respond to his feelings and emotions. Its not because Saketh is a silent boy, but, for the reason that Saketh cannot speak. In fact , he never spoke to Karthik till now , and forever he wont, because Saketh don't have life in him. To put it simple,  Saketh is just Karthik's childhood doll donated by some good hearted person on his 3rd birthday. Though he can speak whatever he wants to, with his doll , he feels more painful when he don't get responses from saketh when he is ventilating out his precious, valuable and deeply felt emotional outburst of his life. He is not blaming the doll, nor his mom and nor the society. But, his tiny, tender, little, young, blossoming heart cant bear such emotional volcano for more time. All he has got is compulsive patience and he can, and he will, wait for the right person who can really listen to get his feelings exactly in the right way. He don't have solutions, he has got Questions , more Questions and only Questions.  He is not talking about responsibilities , he wants empathetic natural stimulus. He don't have a choice right now.  Karthik needs compassion , not sympathy. I think being an orphan he is expecting more from this wicked society. This world needs him only to make movies like slumdog millionaire or writing some stories, articles and blogs ..... Sometimes I feel there are only good questions, no good answers. In fact, if he is given a chance to become a baby again, he just wants someone to listen to his Questions. Probably he may get more questions if someone starts listening.  Anyways, till then Karthik , along with his best friend Saketh, will be in his unavoidable, regular and compulsive process of compulsive Searching .....

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.


Anonymous said...

Hi Mahesh,

I was very busy with all the testing and release but while reading the article it was so interesting that I thought "I wouldn't miss reading this one for anything"....for a moment I kept everything aside and read the entire story.

The choice of words to make up the sentence was not only simple and emotional but also had the presence of the people you were speaking about 'Karthik and Saketh ofcourse...'.

Its really good to hear that people still want long lost relationship and shed a tear or two in this busy and materialistic world. And its wonderful that Karthik still dream about his mom.

Thanks for sharing this with me and I wish and pray that Karthik would find a peace and comfort in his heart and the one not only share his thought's but also heal his pain with love and affection.

Have a nice day.

Pragnya said...

Hi Mahesh

Nice Blog

The way you explained the pain faced by karthik is awsome.
The way you started about Saketh and ended up stating he is not human but doll.Its nice

Good Luck for upcomming Blogs

Sormita said...

Gr8 post mahesh, thr r many unfortunates like Karthik in our country who search for such answers every dawn. I hope they find it sme day.
Gr8 post.

Santhosh said...

Hi Mahesh(annayya),

Its really a Heart-touching post i have read in recent times. Keep up the good work.

" Anyways, till then Karthik , along with his best friend Saketh, will be in his unavoidable, regular and compulsive process of Searching..... "

.. And for the above lines, i wish karthik along with his best friend saketh success in their searching..

Niharika said...

Hi Mahesh!!
A very beautifully written post indeed!! Especially that it was a Doll, really moved me!!
One of the better post on this topic!!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Anonymous ...

Thanks for your time and lengthy comment on this topic. The way you have responded did serve the purpose of the topic in some way atleast. I wish you could have written your name too...
Anyways, welcome to my blog and am glad that you liked it empathetically. Keep responding :)


Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Pragnya,
@ Santhosh
@ Sormita

Thanks a lottt for your responsible words and kind hearts )
Thanks for the pat and encouragement


Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Niharika,

Thanks a bunch buddy for your sweet words and empathetic response ...


pradeep said...

Its really very nice ra....
Keep it up buddy....

Rajalakshmi Umapathy said...

I like it..
Kinda makes me sad also.
I love the Doll thing
Good job done..

Daisy Blue said...

Nice one..And yeah I just remembered Google when I read "searching"

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Rajalakshmi Umapathy,

Welcome to wisdomism....
I am glad that you liked it...
Thanks for the pat and the response

mahesh :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Daisy Blue,

Welcome to wisdomism....
Thanks a lot for your time and the feedback :)


Singh Amit said...

touching and very well written post..:)
The questions you have put in one paragraph was sufficient for me to empathize the heart-breaking pain of Saketh..
Moving post.. :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Amit

Thanks a lottt buddy....
I am heart-fully glad that those questions did impact you....
Thanks for your genuine response and support....


Talking Skull said...

Earlier, I was unable to comment on your post as the "Comments" link goes right under the "Links" hperlink - Blame my age for not realising that "Links" actually lead me to 'Comments' section.... :-/

Anyway, it's 3 am and all I would like to say is that this was great stuff, except one thing: the doll's image at the bottom gave the story away the moment I connected the first para to that image.

Instead of showery words, all I would say by way of appreciation is that this post is in my current Top-6 list.. :-)

RSV said...

just wait!!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Talking Skull,

Instead of showery words.....

Yes, i need constructive comments rather than customary sweet words.
Thanks a lot for your genuine response with a valuable suggestion and supportive feedback....I did remove the pic now.
Thanks a lot again :):):)


Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ RSV,

Hey, guess you are busy with your exams....all the best buddy
Yes, i will wait :):):)
Thanks for your time on my blog:)


ηανєєη said...

Still searching for words to convey my reaction .... till then make peace with the word "awesome"

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Naveen,

Thanks a bunch for your impacting words. I am in friendship with the word 'awesome'


Chetan said...

i was thinking what would karthik do to make saketh talk, but then...
it is so true and happens in our day to day life, we expect only those things to hear and see in reality, what we think of in our mind, or in the close niche of our heart

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Chetan,

Welcome to Wisdomism,
Thanks a lot for your apt and perfect interpretation. You did convey the unsaid words of the topic. Yes, whatever you said is true, happening and human :)
Thanks again :)

Nethra said...

The story was good, but I didn't find any connection between, "if I were a baby again" and the story. That is only an opinion, so never mind.
By the way, instead of commenting on movies like Slumdog Millionaire, first ask yourself what have you done for such kids.
Waiting for the next story. :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Nethra,

A special thanks for your frank, honest and rational opinions. Wisdomism welcomes constructive criticisms a lot. Indeed I want such comments and genuine responses so that we can have more discussions...

1. I didn't find any connection between, "if I were a baby again" and the story
--> Karthik is having many questions, but he want a human instead of a doll. So, I he were a baby, he would like to have someone to listen to those questions so that he can have human responses. Karthik, being a baby , again wants to become a baby. Now, am i clear buddy?? Please let me know.

2. first ask yourself what have you done for such kids....
--> Wisdomism is not about just mere writings for the sake of spicy adjectives, rather, Wisdomism aims to act as a means to catalyse the ignition process in others life and thinking too.
I write the topics only after I face and experience them in reality as I work for many NGOs. In fact Karthik's story is my real time experience of a dumb boy in the orphanage 'New Life Children Home' in Mahabubnagar(AP)

You can see me with the kids in the last two pics. I do teach in some orphan schools in hyd besides I prepare notes them

We had worked for flood victims in AP recently .You can check them at .

Yes, i wrote a topic on floods, but with actions.

I dont want to use my blog to showcase all these things. Wisdomism believes in actions first and then writings. If it is the case of only writings, i could have written 1000 social posts in this blog.

3. instead of commenting on movies like Slumdog Millionaire....
--> I wrote ..."This world needs him only to make movies like slumdog millionaire or writing some stories, articles and blogs"....

So, when I said 'blogs', it is indeed to point myself, to question myself first and everyone else who write stories on unfortunate kids.
I am not against writings/films/blogs....but i want to say that they should be tailed with actions tooo.
I guess you got my point here.
If you still have any queries/questions/doubts/clarifications pleeeez feel free to convey them. You are most welcome buddy. Keep questioning the validity of Wisdomism . You can rip wisdomism apart. I will be waiting :)

Finally, a million ton thanks for you for raising a relevant concern. I would like to ask you to be an Ombudsman to Wisdomism. We will feel privileged.
What do you say buddy?
Thanks a bunch again :)

PS : I want to be descriptive rather to be prescriptive :)

mahesh :)

Nethra said...

I'm happy to know that you just don't write about these things but also do something about it. Keep the good work. :)
I still didn't get the connection. I understood the story but guess I am not getting who exactly is called a baby (under what age). :-/

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Nethra...

thanks for the words...
Yeah....clarity is missing in the word 'baby'(definite age) and so is with many of the bloggers. I took liberty to interpret it as childhood as i have no other choice :)

Roshmi Sinha said...

Very well written and heart touching.

And it involved a doll... Nice!

P.S. I know it is not appropriate here... but Mr. Beans and his constant companion flashed through my mind too. Apart from Calvin and Hobbes...

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Roshmi,

thanks for the words :)
You can write whatever you feel about the post and I feel that your words are quite appropriate and relevant to the topic.
Wisdomism prefers transparency.
Great observation and comparison.
Keep giving me your genuine feedback
Thanks for your time :)

Karthik said...

This is such a co-incidence. My name is Karthik and my birthday is also on 24th April. :-)

Well, talking about the post, it was really worth reading. Kudos! I especially liked that para where so many questions are asked. It just showcases the simple and innocent mind of a kid. Very well narrated.
And also your comment section is very interesting. I appreciate your clarity of thoughts.
All the best! :-)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Karthik

Hi... Welcome to Wisdomism
Karthik.... i just love this name and April 24 is Sachin's birthday. I admire him. So, this is how it happened. Yeah, it special When Karthik reads about Karthik :)
Thanks for your time and those supportive words, particularly your opinion on comments section :)
Thanks again :)

evanescentthoughts said...

This was amazing. Too brilliant. Just loved the way you presented the story. So true :( such kids just want someone to listen to them. But they dont get that :( I somehow did not like the way they have showcased in Slumdog movie. I just hated that movie. I agree with you on that. We should act on this and not sit and write stories/movies.

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ evanescentthoughts,

Hi....Thanks a bunch for getting exactly my intention behind this topic. Yes, we do need actions along with writings.
Thanks again :)


Saimanohar said...

The story was very beautifully narrated.. But I couldnt find the connection to the title, If I were a baby again . Anywayz nice post

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Saimanohar

Hi....Welcome to Wisdomism.
Thanks for the supportive words and your honest query :)
Karthik needs a person, instead of a doll, who can listen, empathize and respond to his questions. So Karthik, being a child wants to become child again so that he can ask questions to a human rather than a doll.....
Am i clear now?
Please do let me know :)
thanks again :)

Dhiman said...

I liked your story and really appreciate your efforts of backing them up with actions....

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Dhiman,

Hi... Welcome to Wisdomism :)
Thanks a lot for the pat :)

Diwakar Sinha said...

arre baap re..such a long post...
still i was able to read the whole thing..
quite likable.

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Diwakar,

Hi...Welcome to wisdomism....
Am glad that u liked it :)

Prashant Mehta said...


Really poignant post. The agony and helplessness of an orphan came out well. Also, the mention of the likes of slumdog millionaire was very apt - most of them just 'use' the orphans.

Shruti said...

First, accept my sorry! I was kinda held up with works.. So I just published my comments and replied them! I knew u participated in blog-a-ton, but controlled my curiosity to read this one! I was reading all blog-a-ton posts in order!

Off to the post now!
the way you handled the subject was too good, especially, this being a delicate issue, this is certainly 'HANDLED WITH CARE'!
Words selection was beautiful as always!
U need me to say more?!
Good luck to you!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Shruti,

Hey formalities please...BTW, whats there to say sorry. Somehow, i felt that you will definitely read this post , in your free time(quality time). Thanks :). Obviously, it do takes time for reading 38 topics on same title . :)

Thanks for the cream on the cake :) :).
Buddy, I just always expect a genuine and honest feedback, which you always give. Thats it. I know you do pick both the pros and the cons in my topics very honestly which help me to evolve better.
The word 'AWESOME' is my guest now :)

thanksssss a lottttttt Shruti
Best of Good Luck to you too.


Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Prashanth,

Welcome to Wisdomism.
Thanks for responding with the word 'poignant' which did complement the agony of Karthik in this post.
Thanks for the pat budyy :)

mahesh :)

Madhu | said...

Sorry, I'm late. Donno how I missed stopping by, but I did. Did that with Daisy as well ! :-(

What I liked about the post is that it took pains to see the world thru the eyes of a little kid who had unanswered questions. A kid who tried to get those answers himself by talking to an imaginary friend. It remindeded me of something I had heard a while ago : " God gave us two ears and one mouth ; listen more, talk less". It is a reminder to parents like me .. :-)

All the best.

PS : I loved the way you have taken pains to explain your view points in comments, especially about logic-creativity in Richa's blog ..

aativas said...

Very moving post Mahesh! And I am happy to know that you are transforming your thoughts into action by getting involved into some real work. Best of wishes for your work.. I am sure you are instrumental in bringing light and fun in the life of kids you are associated with. Carry on the torch..

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Madhu,

Hi... Welcome to Wisdomism.
Thanks a bunch for your heart felted genuine response. Your word did complement the post.
Thanks for your support and the pat :)

PS : Please do not be sorry, It do takes time to read 40 posts on a single topic. Even I have to say you 'sorry' for my delay in reading your post :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Aativas

Hi....Welcome to Wisdomism.
Thanks a lot for your supportive words and the encouragement.
Yeah.... we do need substantial actions along with creative and thoughtful writings.
Thanks again for dropping by and for the time in reading the comments too :)


Psych Babbler said...

Nice post! Very touching... :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Psych Babbler

hi...welcome to wisdomism
Thanks for the response :)

neeraj said...

Good way of narration! You have actually thought it from a perspective of a child! This is something very difficult for most good writers! Good Job!

HaRy!! said...

wise men always come of well dont they..! doll thing was very moving and emotional!! keep the good work mahesh!! cya around!and boy salutions to yu on NGO and teaching...! now thats ACTION speak louder than words!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Neeraj,

Hi...Welcome to Wisdomism.
Thanks a lot for your rational analysis and the supportive words of pat.
What else a writer can ask when he gets the feeback on his perspectives and aspects.
Thanks again for your time :)


Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Hary,

Hey....bit heavy adjectives.:)

thanks a lottt for those responsible words and the encouragement buddy.
Am happy that you did spend time on comments section too. thanks for your time.
Yeah, we do need constructive actions along with creative writings.
thanks again :)

mahesh :)

Rachana Shakyawar said...

@ Mahesh

Who else could have imagined the doll, like you have! Beautiful story and the definitely you have made a complete justice to the topic well depicting the emotions and crave of the circumstance.

“Sometimes I feel there are only good questions, no good answers…” So true, then my good question is “how do you every time come up with such sensitive synergy of thoughts!”

BTW, excuse me for being late enough to I was occupied in some work, hope you understand!

Keep the spark Alive..

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Rachana,

Hi buddy.... Please please never ask me excuses regarding wisdomism. I know that you are my well wisher. Spending your precious time on my writings itself is a privilege. For me, what is being said is more important rather than when it is said. You are one of the few people who really analyse my intention behind the posts and give constant encouragement with your genuine responses and constructive feedback.

Coming to your good question,
Rather than 'how', i can answer for 'why'....
I write for myself because the first person who reads my posts is me. I do miss certain things in my life for which i do keep constant searching.So blog is one of my means to express my missing and i do get satisfaction when someone relates with those things in my topics. I dont know whether it is my urge to complain or communicate or convince or construct or conceive or constraint or concord or compel or counter or contradict or complacency or many more such things. May be there is no good answer for your good question too.

Thanks a lottttt for your sweet words and supportive pat.

Vipul Grover said...

Hey Mahesh interesting 2 read anothr topic with similar character like mine.. Reading it though i guessed tht Saketh will trn out 2 b Kathik's alter ego, bt the way u carvd it was gr8.. Keep writing :)

ARJuna said...

Thank you for the feedback on my keep visiting!!!
And have a knack for writing riveting fiction pieces...keep writing!!!

Roshmi Sinha said...

No new posts... ?????

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Vipul
@ Arjuna

Thanks a lot guys for your encouraging words and the pat :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Roshmi.

Hi...thanks a lot....coz it gives positive energy when someone asks for a new post.. :)
Thanks again :)

Shruti said...
This comment has been removed by the author.