Friday, November 27, 2009

He is still standing

Note
1. This post is to explain the reason behind writing the topic              "My New Friend"
2. This post is dry and boring . So please bear with it.    Thanks for your time.




He is still standing. His gesture is imperceptible, unobservable, uncountable but he is standing with a clarity of thought . He is having a train of thoughts running on the tracks of tough-truths passing through the stations of Uncertainty and Expectations to reach the destination of Self-actualization. He is standing in an isolated corner of a crowded gathering. He is not alone but feeling lonely. Its not because of Failure or Depression. It is because of his consciousness that compulsions, obligations and circumstances keep him busy in executing his Brain's threads. He is neither complaining nor blaming. He is still standing. He is just looking around for that supportive shoulder, for a few seconds at least , to lean on and sigh, if not ventilate. He wants to move to take the happiness he finds in those small events and incidents , which may seem insignificant to others, but he cannot move.


He is still standing. He is just thinking about the race of rainbow he had dreamed. He started off it very well and indeed he was one of the front runners. He might not had the assurance of success then but he has got the right means and tracks to explore the potentiality, possibility and probability of worldly Success. But, suddenly he stopped running the race in between, for the reason, which is known only to him. He is just standing beside the race tracks. He is being surpassed and humiliated by everyone and within no time he realised that he is seeing them at the horizon. Then started the brickbats from the social pressure. But, he is still standing. His legs are asking him, daily, to take the run. He is dumb to the questions of his legs. He is still standing witnessing the sunrises and sunsets , daily, with a hope of a tiny slice of rainbow at least. The success obsessed society started the blame game with more intensity and it was quite obvious. He is listening to them but he is still standing in searching of the options to bear the humiliation and insult . He knows the reasons very well for his standing . He is helpless. How come he can answer to society's rational, logical , genuine and concerned questions where he is unable to answer his own legs. He has to be silent bearing all the mounted pressure on his shoulders and without complaining because of the fact that one cannot ask others to show care, concern, affection and love. They should blossom, unplanned. Emotional feelings are not verbs to manipulate but they are adjectives to erupt naturally. He stopped expecting care, concern, affection and love from others long back and he is searching desperately and deliberately for those 4 things within him, bearing the bags of unheard feelings and emotions, because he hates animated and wooden expressions of concern and care.


He still stands there. He even cannot respond to some genuine responses from others and in return he has to bear their ego lashes. His list of tags kept on growing. He is still silent and emotionless though his heart says that, " I am saturated, enough, i just cant hold this volcano of emotions. I need a channel to flush them out". He is still standing. His heart questioned him , " Why do u suffer so much for the things u were not responsible consciously ". Then his emotional and psychological vibrations gave his heart the answer that he has got a rational reason for why he is standing there. His heart and legs are supporting him by saying that they are ready to fight against everything except for the reason he has said. He is not bothered about the image but the way he is standing. He knows very well that his contenders are he and himself. He is competing with himself but certain things should happen at the right time. He wants to evolve to the maximum. He wants to broaden his wavelength of perception. He hasn't still got the command on Wisdom, but he still craves for realisation. It is not that he is sad but he is not happy , in spite of pleasures and comforts. Anyways, he is still standing, not for sympathy, but for solution.


Now, he has to run a race meant for someone else where neither his legs nor his heart are interested but his stomach is. May be its a matter of self respect as a human being that is making him to prepare for the new race. He has got only one feel good factor that at least he knows what is happening with and within him. Sometimes he feels that he is abandoned and dejected but the issue is so complex and obscure that even the best perceptions and empathy may not give their compassion to him. He has been offered many promises and assurances by many persons that they are ready to catch him if he falls. But they remained just promises of words and few raised the eyebrows instead . Anyways, its all about bearing the pain without showing and complaining, and, he is habituated to that. May be this is a part of evolution of life. He is learning to adopt and adapt to the new race with a pinch of new perceptions and flavours. But, in search of a shoulder......... he is still standing.

13 comments:

Santhosh said...

Hi mahesh

I know who is that "He".

Anyways after reading your topic I just want to say something and that is it seems "he" expects emotions and all that vocabulary from certain people but "he" never sees or feels them from the people who really feels and shows that all vocabulary or adjectives(whatever).

Hmm.. I m sorry if I m wrong but think once.
Ha Ha

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Santhosh

Hi bro.....once u read the below sentence thoroughly.

"....he feels that he is abandoned and dejected but the issue is so complex and obscure that even the best perceptions and empathy may not give their compassion to him...." .

This sentence says much than it looks to be.

Santhosh said...

@ Mahesh

Hmm Thank you for ur reply but pls reply me to the ques i have asked.

"... "he" expects emotions and all that vocabulary from certain people but "he" never sees or feels them from the people who really feels and shows that all vocabulary.... "

I m asking Y is "He" not bothered about the people who are there for Him?

I m expecting relevant reply this time.
Hmmm..!!!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Santhosh,

whoever is saying that they are with 'him' are carrying tags of prejudices and their version of the issue rather than the true essence behind his emotions. For 'him', the pain of being misunderstood regarding his emotional state is more painful than the issue itself.

....How come he can answer to society's rational, logical , genuine and concerned questions where he is unable to answer his own legs.....

That's the reason why he is standing, still.

Raghava said...

May be "he" is not searching at the "right place" fella....

Geetha said...

hey
i wish that 'he' should still stand untill he find the 4 things not only in him but also in others.

Mahesh Kalaal said...

hi geetha

but standing just like that doesnt help him to run his dream race....

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Raghava,

Do you think he is having the choice to select the right place?

Rachana Shakyawar said...

@ Mahesh

|Take time to read..|
*I like to Slow Down to feel the aura, so that I don’t miss anything in between!*

|…Uncertainty and Expectation..|
*Uncertainty you cannot hold…but we definitely have choices to make! *
*There is a fine line between Expectation and Desire, and I prefer the other more often!*

|He is not alone but feeling lonely..|
*I prefer being Solitude, who better can understand this ME being a only child of my parents!*

|He wants to move to take the happiness|
*Why just move: Claim for your joy!*

|he is still standing, not for sympathy, but for solution.|
*Keep firm your feet on the surface and don’t break down!*
*being sympathetic helps you to be empathetic and you can serve other! *

*Solution is Speak up your thoughts, your anger…whom…hehhee…ME your NEW Dear Friend!*


BTW: I simply loved this post, quite a reflex! Everyone goes through such emotions and pain at least ones in life!

Some fight, some accept and some simply dwell in it! Perhaps, your emotions in this post are strong and touch the soul straight away.

When I was reading it, even I was still and “Still I’m Still”…and in a way it’s hard to express that very strange hollow and vacuum type of urge and rush of emotions…

||Emotional feelings are not verbs to manipulate but they are adjectives to erupt naturally.||

~The ultimate quote and in fact the most excellent statement I ‘have ever heard/read/felt!!


I will take more time to discover my churning thoughts about this post!

P.S. I loved the plentiful adjectives you have used in this post :D

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Rachana....

For the first time i am feeling that the word "Thanks" should be replaced by some new word because no one has got my emotions behind this post so perfectly and precisely .
Thanksssss a bunchchchchch for tuning to the frequency of my thoughts and thanks for recognizing the intensity of my standing....
Thanks again for your insightful interpretations to my sentences....
Finally, your sparking encouragement and rational analysis keeps me going :)

Roshmi Sinha said...

A very nice read. Quite reflective...

I guess almost everyone goes through such Qs/stages/phases in life...

Yemiledu said...

Hai,


Well expressesd!! Each one of us at some point of the time in our lives have to stand alone and this is the time when we realize whats dear to us..before we go for the race we chose.

If the intentions are right not the world or the Universe can stop a man from winning the race he has chosen.
All the best for the 'He' of this post.

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Yemiledu...

I do feel complacent whenever responds to this post rather than mere commenting because post reflects me to the most in many ways....
Thanks a lot buddy....
Lets hope "He" will win the race :)