Monday, November 16, 2009

Compulsion - 55 Fiction

Note:- 55 Fiction infers to fictional writings bounded to a maximum of fifty-five words.






 Compulsion


Shabana is  anxiously waiting for her 12 year old daughter Ameena, since 3 hours. It is already 10 pm.
When Ameena came, Shabana asked her worriedly,      " Why so late today?" .     
Ameena smiled and gave her 300 rupees.
Shabana asked her suspiciously, " How come you got more money today? ". 
Ameena said, innocently, "Today, I sold Samosa at Children's Film Festival "

35 comments:

Shruti said...

This is truly awesome mahi!! Child labor and you portrayed it beautifully!! Its surely a winner!! The best till i have read in urs!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Shruti,

Hey thanks for your energetic response and the pat :)

RS Thakur said...

Hey Mahesh, your articles are awesome, so small and contains very few words and conveys the message of a whole volume, U Rock Dude

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Thakur,

Thanks a bunch for your supportive words.
Lets hope for a better world :)

Vikranth said...

Am clapping for you buddy....
Its just Marvellous piece....
Superb work....A perfect one in your posts.
Keep writing

Jennifer said...

hi Mr. Mahesh, I read your blog through one of your friends in Chicago, I really appreciate your presentaion, I liked it, alot :-),
I think you have lot of patience and a very good sense of humour, look forward to see lot lot lot lot many writeups from you, dont forget to add my email to your list too, have a nice time

Nethra said...

It was nice. :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Jennifer,

Welcome to Wisdomism....
Thanks for your time and the response with encouraging words :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Nethra,

Am glad that you liked it. Thanks buddy :)

pawan said...

A striking story about one of the most prevalent social evils, child labour. True, even on children's day I could see a few roadside 'child' mechanics toiling in the sun, ignorant of the celebrations elsewhere.

Good 5 er!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Pawan,

You are correct. There is a huge gap between the haves and have nots even if they are children :).
The ceremonial celebrations have to be more relevant to the happening burning issues in society than the pomp of rituals and glitter.
Thanks for your genuine response :)

Guria said...

Oh, I read the comments and understood that it is about child labour. I thought it to be some other issue actually, I thought the girl came home and "innocently" lied. The word 'innocent' made me think something else.
Good 55-er!! :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Guria...

Oops....it is a Googly then.
Thanks a lot for the feedback. Lemmi meditate on the innocent error :)

Rachana Shakyawar said...

@ Mahesh
Beautiful attempt at the Children's Day! This 55fiction focuses straight on the exploitation and a neglected dimension of the society.

I very much adore and appreciate the way you always portray the serious issues as the moments to ponder and feel.

Keep the spark Alive..

Roshmi Sinha said...

A sensitive topic handled very well. The message comes across unambiguously...


P.S. But 'Chacha' Nehru was not fond of children at all. Apparently, he used to be quite irritable by them...

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Rachana,

Thanks a lot for your cheerful words buddy....
Yeah......the exploitation is ruling the tracks of childhood

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Roshmi,

You are correct. Many leaders do display the characteristics they dont possess in reality. In India, Charisma matters more than the valid behaviour. Hypocrisy and momentary rituals rule the momentum of the media
Thanks for you pat :)

HaRy!! said...

child labour portrayed at its best!!! keep the good work dude!India 2020 sure in sight!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Hary

Thanks a bunch dude....
Lets hope for serene 2020

Vishnu said...

even i thought like guria.. but i noticed the image below too.. wonderful.. i think ur first comment on my blog was yesterday only.. came here to see lots of 55s and short posts.. very happy.. a bit busy nw.. will disturb u often later..

Insignia said...

I thought it was about something 'else' Get me? I only realized that it was about child labor after reading a couple of comments. Dumb of me!!

Nice piece. I loved the way you have portrayed the child's innocence

BK Chowla said...

You have said the most important msg in shortest post.

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Chowla ji....

thanks a bunch for the response :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Vishnu

Welcome to Wisdomism. Thanks for your precious time and the encouraging words.
I am glad that you liked it. Waiting to get disturbed.

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Insignia.....

Welcome to Wisdomism. Yeah, my intention was about the children 's innocence.
They even dont know that they are child labours.
Yes, the 'something else' aspect has been inserted deliberately to show the possibilities of child exploitation.
Thanks again....
Hope to see you often. :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Guria,

Thanks for raising the point of 'something else.'
In fact it was my intention to indicate the probability of that aspect too.
Yes, the 'something else' aspect has been inserted deliberately to show the possibilities of child exploitation.
Thanks again :)

Anonymous said...

Superb work - Pappu

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Pappu....

Thanks a lotttt buddy :) :) :)
I will reply to God today :)

evanescentthoughts said...

Very nicely written.. loved it :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ evanescentthoughts,

Thanks buddy , am glad that you liked it :)

vineet said...

touches 2 d core man...roxxx
lovely

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@Vineet,

Thanks a bunch buddy :) :)

Neha said...

nicely written Mahesh...message well conveyed in a few words..

Yemiledu said...

striking!
A touching message indeed.

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Neha
@ Yemiledu

Thanks a lot for the appreciation :)