Monday, May 10, 2010

Mother's Day, Motherly!


Mother Love. It gets more space in media around May second Sunday. Celebrations, seminars, bouquets, interviews, greetings, blogs, gifts n more. That is a feel good factor indeed. Of course, mother love has been existing in this evolving and uncertain universe, as a most certain thing, since the inception of life.  I had read in many books, magazines and articles about greatness and divinity of mother's love. I had watched and felt it in innumerable Indian movies. Anyway, what is 'Mother Love?'
 
Mother love, to put in a simple way, "The love of a mother towards her children/kids."  Let's say it again, clearly. "The love of a mother towards 'her' children/kids, ONLY her children/kids. Sometimes more love for, and only, her favorite kid among her kids.  Does it mean that mother love is bounded by certain parameters of being Self? Is mother love really altruistic and selfless?

When a mother loves her children, is it the love towards the children or is it the self love? I mean a mother loves her kids only because they are extension of her physical identity or does she really love the person in the kids? If a woman loves her smile, what do we call it, love or self love? In that case whether loving her biological extensions is self love or real love on kids?  I am not saying that self love is a bad thing. Loving one is quite a healthy factor in a person. My question is whether mother's love is all about just an extension of loving oneself/herself?  
When a mother says, "I love my kid", is she loving the 'my' first and the 'kid' next? Is it the 'My' factor makes her to support every act/feature/character of her kids and love everything related to her kid. Is it supporting and loving herself? Does she really love the person in her kids? Does the mother instinct in a woman take over the ability to love the person in her kids? Is mother love motherly?

My intention is not to lessen mother love. It is  a fact that almost all the living creatures are being genetically programmed to love their off-springs and vice versa. Every mother is a  beautiful person  from their children perspective and vice versa. My question is if at all mother's love is so special/unique/eternal/etc, "Can a mother really love her biological kid and a non-biological kid with equal intensity? Isn't the "My" kid syndrome pop up at every instance she showers her love towards 'her' kids?

The most striking feature in mother's love is the ability of a mother to sacrifice anything for her kids. Sometimes she can go to any extent to serve her child needs and security. This trait is present in every living being. Is Mother love one more instinct/trait or love? 

Mother love, most often, is defined as the only self less love where the person loving you loves you irrespective of whether you love her back or not. Is this something that a mother loves 'herself' in the kids and hence no expectations, only sacrifices?  Is it ‘My’ kid syndrome??

Contrary to this syndrome, we have many such instances in nature, where animals of one species feeding offspring of another species. I call such love as mother love, in fact, motherly mother love . It can be offered to anyone by anyone in this world. Indeed it do deserves celebrations and honors in a much higher level than the invisible Dog God.
You may doubt if i know what love is. May be i don't, because there are as many perceptions of love as the number of persons want to define it.

Finally.....self love, instincts, love, selfishness.....these are just names from different interpretations to one eternal and ever evolving-consummate-unadulterated-basic-essential-crucial-necessary-affectionate emotion of every creature's life called "Mother Love".
Irrespective of the above logic, my foremost intention is to raise a much relevant and substantial question to rake an honest answer within us.

"Do we love our mother just because she is our natural/biological mom by chance or do we really love her for the person she is?"

Had the 'My' mom syndrome peeped into your motherly mother love anytime? Am i blowing an invisible balloon? I guess for all these quite out of the box interpretative analysis, the only solution is  ....

"When logic stops, love starts....."
 .............
........
...


"I love my mom, because she is more than love to me"












 P.S:  This is my entry for Blogadda’s WRITE A TRIBUTE TO YOUR MOM “contest on  account of Mother’s day..
Of the world

Best mom
Of the world

30 comments:

BK Chowla, said...

This day is only to wish everyone--Happy mother's day. No complaints, no comparisons.

Shilpa said...

Nothing can be beat a mother's love :)
Happy mother's day to all the mothers in the world!

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

I do not like the advertising campaign of greeting cards companies for celebrating a day but.... u said it right, nothing can beat mothers love...:D

Roshmi Sinha said...

Let me quote from the 'Ramayana':

जननी जन्मभूमिश्च स्वर्गादपि गरीयसी

[Meaning: The mother is higher than the motherland... even higher than heaven.]

geeta said...

Yes Mahesh
In some special bonds we should not apply any logic otherwise we forget to love....

So applying no logic...
"God could not be everywhere so he created Mother"
Mothers are the best
Happy Mother's Day

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Chowla ji...
@ Shilpa...
@ Sid...
@ Roshmi...
@ Geeta...

Though i am quite clearly failed in this post to communicate my intentions and thoughts in a proper way....i would like to wish you all
Happy mother's day forever :)

Being Pramoda... said...

Hai Mahesh,

first of all, thanks fr visiting my blog. I'm gald to be here at ur blog on the spl post on mother's day.

To be frank, i'm in a rush nw..i couldnt read the post with all concentration, but loved the lines.. will come back and read it, i just lve dthe pics.. totaly it looked soo hearty..

Thanks once again.. and happy mother's day to ur mom..

Megha said...

That was very different post on Mother's day. I agree with you that some mothers are blinded by love of child. Very true and pragmatic post.

The thing is that there's some magical relation between the mother and her child that go beyond reasons and theories. More than love, I feel respect and admiration towards my mom. She is great!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Being Pramoda...
Hey thanks for leaving few interesting footsteps ...
waiting for your strides....

Blame it on blogger, i was not getting ur blog updates and recently i got u in my reader...
will be visiting regularly...

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Megha...
Till now you are the first person who got the tracks and wavelength of my intention behind this post though i am bit unclear in this post...
And yea, i do agree with your opinion that it is more about respect and admiration
And may be the word magical holds more than we could perceive the motherhood...

Thanks for the responsive feedback buddy...

HOPE - for needy said...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
And I wish each and every person's mother a very happy and wonderful day...!!!

Actually EVERY DAY IS A MOTHER'S DAY..!!!

Sandhya said...

Very balanced post...:-)
A mother many a times looks over the negatives of her child....its a natural bond that gets developed in those trying times of pregnancy that they both go through together. before the birth of the child its the physical bond and after, as many say though the umbilical chord gets cut physically but never emotionally. Loved your post because you tried to look beyond that bond!
Lovely writing!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Sandhya...
Welcome to wisdomism
Thanks for two things....
first, for identifying that it is balanced though it appears to be tilted...
Second, For looking beyond the words and recognizing that i indeed looked beyond the bounds of motherhood...

Yes, i do agree with your opinion about the physical and emotional bonding between a mother and her child.
Thanks a lot for your apt response and the pat:)
Keep dropping by

cheers,
mahesh kalaal

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Santhosh....

I know very well that you are one of the very few persons i know who really care their mother, not just in words, but through actions....

Abha Midha said...

Hi Mahesh..... this is my first entry to your blog. To your question as to ..do we love out mother cos she is our biological mother or the person she is... i guess it is a mix of both.... we start by loving her as a kid cos she is the one who takes care of all our needs... but as we grow up we learn to appreciate her distinct qualities as a person. One's relationship with mothers is the most beautiful of all.

Rachana Shakyawar said...

@ Mahesh

You have some very valid questions over motherhood...
Perhaps, why just a motherhood...take it any relationship...or act in life...is Selfish notion!


Yeah...dont get surprised to my reply..I really beleive like this way...Okay put it this way...

"Whenever, we do something good to others, or just an unconditionally love of mOther to her kids..it refects back the Happiness in Self! To get cheering uplift when we love or help others. Indeed this way we discover happiness and satisfaction in self!...Being a Human being, i would never do anything good, untill that brings back the happiness in me, hence I'm Uttermost Selfish!"

I might be not be so correct to define the core pure relationships in this way...but I do think like that...Correct me if I'm wrong...I wish only to learn new!

However, I loved the ebb and flow, of your post,the pitures are so apt to refect each para..and indeed a beutiful though-provoking post...I like reading your posts...as they are unique, and always refects a different angle of the post! Beautiful Attempt!!

~Keep the Spark Alive..

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Abha Midha...
Hi buddy...Welcome to wisdomism. Yes, there you are with apt and pragmatic answer to the questions i have raked. Exactly, it is a mix of both and that is the reason why i started with the animal pics first and then the human motherhood in the last to depict that the motherhood starts as an instinct first and develops as a strong emotional bonding for ever after the initial phases. Yes, in every moment, as you said, it is the mix of both. This is what i wanted to say and you have really extracted the gist of the post though i was bit unconventional in presenting it in words.
Motherhood is beautiful and sometimes it is more than any adjectives.
Thanks a bunch for the response and the feedback. Keep dropping by.
Have cheerful blogging buddy...

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Rachana...
I guess, your response gave me an opportunity to elaborate few things here .
Before , i say something, let me make you clear that this post is not about correct or wrong as it is all about our perceptions of motherhood based on our personal experiences.
So, i would like to put your views in this way...
As you said 'Perhaps, why just a motherhood...take it any relationship...or act in life...is Selfish notion!'

Yes, i agree with you. It is all about selfish notion. Every act, including service, is for satisfaction . My intention is that i am questioning the relevance within that selfish notion. Here, my main quest is not against selfishness, but to equate and mix the entities of both physical and emotional bonding .

You said "Whenever, we do something good to others,......"
My question is whether the 'others' here include kids out of the physical bonding. Step moms are known for their partial and biased treatment. Within her biological kids, why there will be bias towards the less privileged ones who are obviously more than 'others'. If at all selfish notion is all about doing and feeling good then from where do this bias creeps in and what shall we call this? Thats why i asked, is motherhood bounded by certain parameters?

As one of the readers 'Abha' said here, " It is a mix of both ".
So let me spill the beans.
Motherhood is even beyond the selfish notion once the emotional bonding takes over the physical one of initial stages.
As you said, the selfish notion, defines the relation between a mother and her kid in the initial stages which is quite of more physical than emotional(Kid doesnt know the person in the mother and mother cannot know it as the person in kid is yet to evolve) As the children grow up, all the dynamic factors of growth of life effects both the mother and child in a more emotional way which builds a strong bonding, which i say, is more than a selfish notion. That is the reason why i brought the concept of selfish love first and then concluded with the questioning "Do you really love the person in your mother" to stress the undefinable and unaddressable emotional bonding of motherhood which lasts until the last breath. That is why the parting(death) in initial stages is relatively less painful than the parting in later stages when emotional intensity is at its maximum

continue...

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Rachana(Continued...)


The other dimension is that the motherhood when viewed in the same selfish notion , slows down when it confronts the questions "The love of a mother towards 'her' children/kids, ONLY her children/kids???. Sometimes more love for, and only, her favorite kid among her kids.why? ". . Any mother will treat all of her children in the equal manner in the initial stages of physical growth, but when the stage of emotional bonding comes, the pinches of bias starts creeping into and impacts the less treated children and their growth. So, it is not all about branding motherhood as selfish but partial. I am bringing it into the light because i support the below opinion

" we have many such instances in nature, where animals of one species feeding offspring of another species. I call such love as mother love, in fact, motherly mother love . It can be offered to anyone by anyone in this world." Even this mother love is selfish in one aspect, but it is absolute in itself.

Anyway, i am not sure whether i have cleared the things or made them more confused as the post itself is bit unconventional in its approach towards motherhood

Finally, my concern is of two things...
1. Making a relevance of universal motherhood, on par with physical bonding
2. To bring out the person in the mother who is responsible for what we are.

i am sorry, if my explanation is not in sink with yours.
Thanks for your frank opinion and am looking forward for more response from you in this regard . Thanks a bunch for the much encouraging pat on my writings. Pictures, yes, they have added impact to the post. May be i keep attempting such things because of the confidence in few readers like you who try every way to understand me without jumping into quick prejudiced conclusions. Thanks buddy :)
--
Elated Cheers,
Mahesh Kalaal
Help us @ http://hope4needy.blogspot.com

softypinkngloriousred said...

A thought provoking, off beat post on Mother and Mother's love. You have raised some very valid questions but i guess there can be no definitive answer, as each one's answer will depend on his/her personal experiences; some good ones, some not so good ones.
Overall, for most people Mother's love will be special, notwithstanding partiality and selfishness.
Best wishes for the contest!

Mehak said...

i'm not much into celebrating 'days' but nice write-up! :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Softypink...
I agree with you that there are as many opinions as the number of people want to opine on this issue...
As the emotions are quite highly subjective, based on personal experiences the perspective changes though we try to come at a rational conclusion...
And Mother love will be more than special...
Thanks a lot buddy for understanding my perspective and hence responding through a feedback ...


@ Mehak...

yea, even am not into celebrations, but i took this opportunity to raise certain aspects of the issue...
Thanks buddy :)

sushobhan roy said...

A very thoughtful post.. The pics beautifully complement each para..
Mother's love as you have mentioned as "My kid" syndrome certainly takes precedence in a majority of cases.. The extension of herself is quite true... The person within the child doesn't matter that much as the feeling of seeing herself as a part of the child..

wonderfully penned..:)

Gyanban said...

Quite a shift from your dark posts...shows your versatility as a writer.
good stuff.

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Sushoban...
Thanks for the feedback and the pat buddy...seems like you thoughts are in sink with mine...

@ Gyanban...
Yea, sort of shifting...
may be i will be swaying between the branches...
Thanks for the pat buddy :)

Sangeeta R. Goswami said...

Hii Mahesh,
Me and some of my friends have started an e magazine called Reader's Quotient, it is totally for a noble cause of funding education to needy children, I came across your blog in my quest to search talented writers and felt worth to inquire if u shall be interested to come along with us,
If yes pls contact us at sangeeta.goswami@readersquotient.com

Awaiting your revert

Regds/Sangeeta
www.readersquotient.com

geeta said...

Hey buddy ,
no post for so long...
Going busy....

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Sangeeta...

I feel privileged to contribute my part for the cause. I am glad that you felt my blog deserves so.
Thanks a bunch for the invitation. I will join the team after may 23 as i am busy wid my exams as of now..
Thanks again :)

@ Geeta...

Yea, sort of small sabbatical ....will take one more week for the comeback...I am not sure yet.....planning few new things in my blog from June ....it is about something more than just writing. May be actions....... Will let you know the details soon....Thanks for the concern buddy....
How about your posts?
keep expressing :)

Chandrika Shubham said...

Amazing article! :)
I liked all the pics. They are really beautiful. :)
Thanks for sharing. :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@chandrika...
Hi, welcome to wisdomism...
am glad dat u liked d pics...
Thanks for the appreciation:)
Keep dropping by :)