Monday, February 22, 2010

Savage - 55 Fiction

Note:- 55 Fiction infers to fictional writings bounded to a maximum of fifty-five words.

 Savage

Sahib proclaimed, ".......butchering, removal of rubbish and waste, leather work, cleaning latrines and sewers, and Manual scavenging .......

Your shadows and footfalls are ritually impure, polluted and contagious .......

..... No entry to wells, schools and temples and stay out of the village....

Just don't touch us.... "

Meera murmured, "Sahib, was i not untouchable when you raped me?"


20 comments:

pavan said...

Great and touching Post... keep it Up.. Mahesh

Shilpa Garg said...

OH!!
How sad and so very true too!! :O

Yemiledu said...

You have mastered 55 fictions!
Seriously that was an awesome post that right expressed the fact!
Good work!
Kudos!

Nethra said...

Very nice story. :)

Guria said...

Gawd! What an impact! You shake the rafters with it!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Pavan,
Thanks for the pat buddy :)

@ Shilpa Garg,
Thanks for the visit :)

@ Yemiledu,
Thats pretty pro active encouragement , as usual.... Thanks for the response :)

@ Nethra,
I have to really thank you.... it is because of your support to my 55 fictions, i started the second innings :). Thanks a ton again :)

@ Guria,
Gawd, what a comment! you did made me humbled :) :) :). Thanks for dropping by.

geeta said...

Its black but its true...
good one...

I too penned down few 55 fictions but never posted them..thinking they are not in meters

Neha said...

excellent post..one of the best 55ers..

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Geeta...
Thanks for the feedback... I would like to suggest you to publish all your 55iers and believe me once you start writing them, it becomes a habit of writing 55iers and it gives us immense gratification. Everyone have to start at some point. Lokking forward to read your 55iers.

@ Neha,
Thanks for dropping by and the encouraging pat :)

Rajlakshmi said...

that was hard hitting... brilliantly written...

Rajlakshmi said...

that was hard hitting... brilliantly written...

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Rajlakshmi...

Thanks for the encouraging words... :)

Bharathi said...

excellent. I liked it a lot.

Samadrita said...

Thanks to Guria for putting up this link on FB.Amazing write,you...couldn't have been more hard-hitting than this.

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Bharathi...
Am glad u liked it... thanks for dropping by.

@ Samadrita..
Welcome to wisdomism... thanks for the response :)

√ij@y said...

Very touchy...like the way you narrated it.

Blogger said...

Awesome ! loved the way you brought out the concept !

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Vijay....
Thanks for the words buddy :)

@ Blogger....
Thanks for the pat and the feedback :)

Rachana Shakyawar said...

@ Mahesh

I have felt four things that bring concern to me!
-being a poor
-being an untouchable
-being a woman
-being a rape victim

Now I wonder which one is larger in impact...perhaps now I understand…no one can ever put them in any particular order...of despair, misery, hopelessness and agony of era and nature!

Forget to ever get any justice…because one will get justice only if one exists!
What if one is finished/dead before the God’s will..!
What if one is Alive/breathing against the People’s will..!
Nothing gets stop in this world…and here is where we all lack so much indeed at the cost of freedom and dignity of oneself!

Even today such shameful acts are prevailed in so many villages and towns...perhaps cites…and no concrete action has been taken to improve/avoid such circumstances/perhaps I call it rather the evil spirit Culture of the society...and insanity of men.

When one even speaks in a loud pitch…other can feel offended and they revert back with same tone and anger! But have even one thought…will this particular woman…even be given chance to speak…or show her anger in her gestures! Worst is one cannot even have a genuine right to open the mouth and speak the truth, so called we bluff about reflecting the Right of expression! huhh…



And more when I say in support of this lady…you will tend to call me boring feminist...but boy…here is a fair chance to feel and understand the fear, force, frustration behind those closed doors and mute mouths revealing the apt in this 55fiction!

This fiction has been far into the realism…and rise so high in every fall reflected!


~Truly proud of U buddy..!
~Thank you so much for bringing this post into my notice…otherwise I wouldn’t have understood the pain U go through in fetching the best in you...which provoked ME to recollect the scattered thoughts of mine.

And again I have to say…
..U always…
Keep the spark Alive..

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Rachana,

The reason why i have asked you to have your take on this post is that you are one of the few persons i know who can actually connect to the empathetic emotions behind writing a post in a comprehensive, rationalist and compassionate manner. ....
You did surpass my expectations by responding in an elaborate manner. In fact your feedback is almost a post to be read by everyone. I guess you can present the same topic in a better impacting way to reach wider audience, if possible. I have this hunch that you will make it big. Your response did complement the topic. I will read this again and again.
Believe me, you have raked every unsaid word of this post in my mind.
Kudos to your feedback, one of the best on my blog till now....
And frankly, am yet to respond properly to your analysis.
Thanks a million ton for making me to dig new avenues of this topic....Yes, this post has become a more dearer after your review. I wish i could make a documentary on your review.
Thanks again for the valuable inputs and the encouraging pat.....

elated cheers and sparks :)
Mahesh Kalaal