Monday, June 21, 2010

Boundary - 55 Fiction

Note:- 55 Fiction infers to fictional writings bounded to a maximum of fifty-five words.

Boundary



We are playing cricket in the outskirts of our village...

He is looking at us with apprehension ...

He is hesitating to come near to us...

Obviously, the societal customs are stopping him to join us in the game...

He knows very well about the drastic consequences  ...

Nope, he is not an untouchable ...

But we are ...

21 comments:

Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) said...

ouch... that was hard hitting... very well crafted...

Shilpa Garg said...

Oh! Living with that stigma!! Sad!! :(
A nice twist!!

Rachana Shakyawar said...

Beautiful turn around of words and situation...Mind Blowing!!
You have this capability to capture such situations and sensitive moments so well!!

Loved this on!
Yet your daring another fiction!!

~Keep the Spark ALive..

Rachana Shakyawar said...

Beautiful turn around of words and situation...Mind Blowing!!
You have this capability to capture such situations and sensitive moments so well!!

Loved this on!
Yet your daring another fiction!!

~Keep the Spark ALive..

Surbhi Jain said...

You write that so beautifully!! Always hit it to the nail...

*Inspired*

aativas said...

O Henry type of twist...:-)

Mehak said...

good one! your 55s are so powerful every single time.. :)

Anonymous Someone said...

Beautiful, its the other side... and innocence and childhood should have no bounds.

Chatterbox said...

Wonderful play with words :)
Very nice :)

Gyanban said...

The dark side. Very well written MK.
Good stuff.

Beyond Horizon said...

even wid knowledge as a power.....liberty of thoughts.....vision of society limited 2 past beliefs......its not ready 2 see beyond dem.....haziness avoiding d new outlook.....its a really sad "satya" of dis kalyug :(

nicely expressed.....

Nethra said...

I hate the word "untouchable" regardless for whom we use word.
Nice one! :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@Tavish..
Thanks buddy:)

@Shilpa Garg...
yea, a deliberate social stigma...
thanks

@ Rachana...
thanks for the encouraging pat buddy...
lets hope the turn around will happen in our society too...


@ Surbhi Jain ...
Hey buddy.....thanks a bunch for such an inspiring comment which inspires me to write more such writings....
thanks again :)

@ Aativas...
O ... O Henry .... he is my darling...
thanks for dropping by...keep visiting :)

@ Mehak...
Thanks for the pat buddy :)

@Anonymous someone...
Well said... thanks buddy :)

@ Chatterbox ...
Thanks buddy :)

@ Gyanban...
Thanks a lot buddy... both for the pat and the encouragement by picking this post ...

@Beyond Horizon..
Thanks buddy..... liked your response....intriguing lines... keep them coming.

@ Nethra..
thanks buddy..
we should make the word untouchable as untouchable .

Ramesh Sood said...

untouchable?.. what's that word ..?
You hit pretty hard, Buddy..

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Ramesh ji...
well said and thanks for the pat .

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

very good one ...
i like the use of the 'BUT' in hte last sentence ... keep going !

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

Was reading the "Why Save Earth" post.

Well, the Earth is capable of regenerating and protecting itself, but htat was because till now it hadn't faced humans. Till now, none of the creatures on this planet tried to get the best of each other the way we are .... i mean no creature ever destroyed the resources for selfish needs .. it was only for hunger .. but we do so for greed as well ... and that is different.

Try reading "Poison Belt' by A.C. Doyle ... u'll like it !

And yeah, trying to save future generations is only through keeping the Earth safe, right ?

Roshmi Sinha said...

Very hard hitting... with a twist in the tale. The view from the other side of the table... is equally ugly and devoid of reason.

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Deepa...
Sorry for the delay in my response.
Thanks a lot for your valuable feedback . I will hop to the book soon. I heard about it.

I agree with your opinions on saving earth. Thanks a bunch or your appreciation and the pat.
keep dropping by :)

@ Roshmi...
it is ugliest , but i doubt if you have interpreted more than what i intended to convey. Is it?

Pallavi said...

Very well written.. "untouchable" word touched my heart. Good twist.

ManiKanth Pasunoori said...

That's a good twist and clever play with the words. Simple but powerful ... Quite interesting !

Regards,
Manikanth.P.
http://insights2day.blogspot.com