Quotes

Compilation .... to start with

1. You give to the world your greatest gift when you're being yourself.

2. I don't believe in proving a point to anybody. Nobody is that important.

3. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway

4. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

5. Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

9. What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

10. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places

11. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

12. If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

13. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

14. The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

16. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

17. "Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."

18.When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

19. He who laughs last didn't get it.

20. When there's a will, I want to be in it.

22. Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

23. There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side.

24. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

26. There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

31. Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

32. If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.

34. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

35. Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.

36. You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?

37. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

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